• Touch your face - it’s fun.

  • Visit nursing homes.

  • Don’t wash your hands much and when you do do it for just a few seconds.

  • Compare COVID to the flu whenever you can.

  • If you feel sick go to the mall, travel or do something else outside to get your mind off it.

  • Cruise ships, in particular, are getting real cheap - take advantage by buying a ticket for the soonest one.

  • Don’t stock up - that’s for losers.

  • Further, actively make fun of anyone who does prepare.

  • If you’ve been forced to work remote now is the time to try doing it at a cafe or a coworking space.

  • if you can’t be bothered to work at a cafe make up a story about being suspected of having COVID.

  • If you haven’t been very racist before consider if you don’t have something against Asians. Voice all of it.

  • Blame political opponents for over and under-reacting. They probably fucked it up one way or another, just pick one of the two and make it about them.

  • Make jokes about corona beer. Maybe someone hasn’t heard them yet? Worth a try.

  • If you decide to get disinfectant, toilet paper, masks etc. just take some from a local hospital when nobody is looking. You can always just sell them with a 100x mark up later.

  • If you didn’t manage to steal from the hospital (their security can be pesky, huh?) make some fakes and sell those instead. Easy money.

  • Increase your consumption of toilet paper, non-perishable food and anything else that’s in short supply immediately.

  • Don’t wear surgical, n95 or heavier masks. You can use cloth masks or the above but only if you put them on loosely.

  • Make fun of boomers more than usual.

  • Prank old people by sneezing on them when you see some.

  • Did I mention that touching your face is fun? You should have done it at least once more since the start of the list, especially if outside.

  • Did you know that COVID is a bioterrorist weapon made by China? Well, you do now - spread the information without looking more into it.

  • Refuse the concept of COVID vaccines even in theory. You wouldn’t want to become autistic, would you?

  • If you can’t watch your favourite team at the stadium, gather outside instead.

  • If someone you know is sick and asks for help tell them to just take some vitamin C or whatever - should be enough.